i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Randomize
