the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
