Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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