i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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