I must be too annoying 4 u.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need moral support for this bender
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
