so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize