she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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