hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize