Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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