It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
