He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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