HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize