it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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