$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize