loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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