There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
