Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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