That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
