i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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