dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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