There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
