I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
