i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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