god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
