You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
