jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wanna go halves on a baby?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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