Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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