hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
