New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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