So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
