garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
