normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
