buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
