Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
