..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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