It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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