You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
