you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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