'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
