"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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