my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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