when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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