He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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