Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
