there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
wow bdsm is so cute
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
