Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
