I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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