I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
