Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Randomize
