You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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