You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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