i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
