Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
