you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Randomize
