how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
