I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
