dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
