it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
