Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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