and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
