Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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