Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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