did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
