I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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