just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
