yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
