why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
