I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
