i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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