Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
